What Will Martin Say?

I'm not 100% sure, but it will probably be something like this:


[THE OPENING]
Good Evening.

[THE "INTRODUCTION" -- WHY I'M TALKING TO YOU]
In recent days, Canadians have heard very troubling things coming from the Gomery Comission.

Indeed, some of things they have heard, have caused a lot of anger.

[THE "I'M JUST LIKE YOU" PART -- CONNECTING WITH CANADIANS]
I want to tell Canadians that as prime minister, I too am angry, which is why my government took the steps of establishing the Gomery Commission in the first place, so that we can get to the bottom of the sponsorship scandal, to find out who was responsible and to hold them to account ...

... It is also why my government remains committed to seeing the Gomery Commission through to the end. So that Canadians may have all of the facts ...

[THE "YOU CAN TRUST ME" PART -- BOLSTERING MY INTEGRITY]
... And I know that my decision to establish the Gomery Commission has come at a great personal cost. It has shaken Canadians confidence in me, and in my government. But I established the Gomery Commission because I knew it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do, and that’s why the commission must be allowed to continue its work.

[THE "I WILL FIX IT" PART -- SHOWING LEADERSHIP]
... Make no mistake; if it is proven that my party received funds illegally, as leader, I have committed to having that money returned to Canadians. And already, my government has taken steps to recover funds in various lawsuits involving several organizations and individuals. And it will not stop there. We will take every step necessary to find and prosecute any person who violated the trust of the government, the trust of Canadians. You have my absolute commitment as prime minister that those individuals will be punished ...

[THE "I'M MR. NICE GUY" PART -- GUILT TRIP FOR THE OPPOSITION]
... I would also like to take this opportunity to appeal to Mr. Harper, Mr. Layton and Mr. Duceppe. Because I know that Canadians want to see this parliament work, I ask the members of the opposition to allow the business of the nation to move ahead. Allow Justice Gomery to do his work and report on his findings. Then, and only then, can we ask Canadians to make a decision, an informed decision, on the facts ...

[THE "OTHER THINGS NEED OUR ATTENTION PART" -- WE'RE OFF TRACK]
... As a nation we face difficult times. We face many challenges. Challenges which will not be addressed if the government is not permitted to move forward, if the opposition will not do the job Canadians expect of them, to function in this minority government as partners ...

[THE "I AM A TEAM PLAYER" PART -- WORK WITH ME]
... I am committed to working with the leaders of the opposition to reach compromises on a wide range of issues, because I know, that is what Canadians want us to do. So I ask the opposition to join me in helping to grow this great nation. Let us do the work that Canadians demand of us. It is our responsibility as elected representatives of this proud and noble country ...

[THE "CLOSING" -- NOW GO WATCH "THE O.C." FEELING CONFIDENT IN MY LEADERSHIP]
Thank you very much.

This is NOT a leaked document. It is a dramatization by this author.